The Bible!

CPL Thunderstruck · #1 02-22-2005

Does anyone else here believe that the Bible is hilarious?

God smited people for skeeting on the ground, King David killed some guy so he could bone his wife and one guy rapes his sister and desecrates her. You can't get more vile in a book!

THIS BOOK IS AWESOME.

So, this I made this post for religious debates because I am considerably bored and Christianity is the easiest to pick on since it's so broken. Who here studies...and I mean STUDIED...the bible?

Thunder

Roll Tide Roll · #2 02-22-2005

Ha Ha....funny guy..you remind me of the guys on AOL =D...but be forewarned

The Christians are coming over the hill and they are pissed the **** off :-\

:

repares self to read bible quotes and nonsense from Christians who are mainly the ones that do the wrong and are corrupt::

CPL Thunderstruck · #3 02-22-2005

My favorite is when a fellow poster of mine made some remark like "The Three wise men are ****ing retarded".

I never made the connection, but when I looked back it sure did that the star that shone over baby Jesus was shining in the east...and they travelled to the west, how dumb can the three wise men be? THE GREAT STAR OF THE EAST...LETS TRAVEL AWAAAAAAAAAAY FROM IT. Yet baby Jesus was directly under the star. So if the star was east, and they walked west did they decide to cross the Earth's oceans and continenets to reach the star in which baby Jesus was directly under?

The Bible is great!

Thunder

CrunkMonkey85 · #4 02-22-2005

I'm not gonna take sides on this. I'm just gonna post my favorite weird Scripture from Genesis 19:

4 Before Lot and his guests could go to bed, every man in Sodom, young and old, came and stood outside his house 5 and started shouting, "Where are your visitors? Send them out, so we can have sex with them!"
6 Lot went outside and shut the door behind him. 7 Then he said, "Friends, please don't do such a terrible thing! 8 I have two daughters who have never been married. I'll bring them out, and you can do what you want with them. But don't harm these men. They are guests in my home."
9 "Don't get in our way," the crowd answered. "You're an outsider. What right do you have to order us around? We'll do worse things to you than we're going to do to them."

In Rod We Trust · #5 02-22-2005

i study it..............
i like the Bible tho....................
it IS hilarious, cuz God was off the hook in the Old Testament................
And as for vile............. yeah it is..................

it is the most gruesome, bloodiest, lustiest, sinniest (LMAO) book in the WORLD....................

In Rod We Trust · #6 02-22-2005

Jesus was bout to beat the shyt out them *****s when they were sellin stuff in the Temple. He got a whip and everything

AfroPoeticSista · #7 02-22-2005

The angel told Lot and his family NOT to look back at what they left behind when they fleed Sodomand Gomorrah. So what did his wife do? Looked back. And God turned her into a pillar of salt.

Bet she was feeling TOO salty :lol: