I sat by for too long and I need to speak my peace on this topic. I am a military member. I have deployed, been in 12 years, 9 of which, I was married. So I have some experience here.
A military spouse (husband or wife) has to deal with many situations that ordinary couples do not face. The spouses who do the damn thang are a special breed.
Before a person gets involved with a military member, they should know the ins and outs of the dynamics in a military household and be willing to accept those adverse circumstances.
You may PCS (permanent change of station) so those who need to be near momma need not apply.
If you refuse to move because of your career, do not apply.
If you are not able to hold it down like a single parent because of deployments, do not apply.
If you can not grasp the concept of what you do can have adverse effects on the military member's career, you definitely need not apply. (I got hemmed up for my ex writing bad checks on her account)
If you can not stand and be strong enough to endure 4 month, 6 month, and one year deployments that roll around every 18 months or so, don't apply.
If you can not accept that you marry the person and the military, do not apply. (for some reason alot of people have issues with that)
I applaud every military spouse that has hung in there with their significant other, through thicker and thinner. Those who can hack it have my deepest respect and admiration.
Let me leave u with a story:
Before I deployed, I met a nice young lady. We had good times, and she loved to see me in my uniform. Everything was ducky until one day we were watching CNN and she asked if I were ever going "over there." I told her I was going in a few months. She got hella mad like I duped her or something. I mean she got pissed!!! I asked her what the deal was. She said that if I had disclosed to her that I was deploying, we probably would never have started dating. I said to her, the fact that I wear the uniform should let you know that I "may" go to contingencies! Then I asked a rhetorical question: "Am I supposed to base my dating life around the deployment rotational cycle?" I ended with, "This is normal for me. Keep that in mind if you want to be a part of a military member's life."
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If you can't dazzle em' with brilliance, baffle em' with bullshit.
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