That thang ~chocl8tati

[chocl8tati]

sorry, I dont write short poems, but it would be nice to get some feedback.

That Thang

His eyes ravage me,
And strip me of all that makes me love me
Everything that makes me,
Me
And evokes
That thang

Like a defenseless animal,
I cannot escape this fate,
But like Prometheus,
I will never be consumed by the curse that eats away at the core of my being
Like a phoenix,
I arise from the ashes a new creation
Drawing life and strength from the ashes of my struggles and failures

That thang
That makes me a goddess in the milky white dreams of
Young men whose visions of hard knocks
Deconstruct me
‘til all that’s left is a simple form that consists only of those two essential big B’s

That thang
That manifests itself as I am overcome
By the knowledge and awareness of the potential I have
That urges me to delve into the endless resources within me
That allow me to BE
Whatever I decide

I feel beautiful
When I successful ignore his eyes
Those open windows to his sexuality
That lock on my hips
Swaying to the music that has entered me and made me a willing prisoner
But I am one with the music
As my heart beats to the intricate skips of the rhythm
And I give myself over
Completely

I feel complete
As I am compelled to move the instant the bass begins to thrum
And I lose sight of the eyes burrowing into my soul
Seeing the nakedness there
And the purity of each movement that is above
The carnal thoughts that course through his mind
Like a leech he latches on to me
Wishing to drain me of the freedom and power I possess
To force him away before he is ready would leave me damaged
So I don’t resist
And instead I inundate him with what he thinks he’s after
To make him finish faster
Leaving the awesome power within me
Untouched and uncompromised
And the precious jewel protected by my innermost being refined by the encounter

But he doesn’t know his presence is largely unfelt
As my body is enraptured by my romance with the music that envelops me
And makes me whole
I’m conscious of the misogynist lyrics that seek to break me down
And every part of me picks apart and discards all of his music’s insecurities
‘til all that remains is the dependability of the bass line that still loves all of me
for me
all of me
unscathed even after the crucible
that only seems to fortify all I’m made of

Yeah, I’m sprinkled with sugar and spice and everything nice
And have a full smorgasbord of desserts guarded inside
But he’s too intimidated by my concrete foundation and reinforced steel beams
That have weathered the worst of storms

Despite my easy smile, gentle mannerisms and simple grace
I’m not the girlfriend type
I’m not the one he tell his thoughts and feelings to
The one he walks down the street with hand in hand and
Writes little sweet notes to that convey that he likes ME
A lot

No
He sees that thang
And instead confesses his every fantasy
As if I
Am the only existing key to its fulfillment

From him emanates this brilliance
That I am drawn to like a fly
Because I have the power to see
Through the thick partition he places between himself and the world
He doesn’t seem to care or realize that between this
Is a man enslaved by his body
Incapable of free his thoughts
and making himself more than a sex machine that even he cannot control
I see this
And the helplessness behind his sexy smile
and I realize that submitting to him would mean that I would also be a slave,
but to his body instead of my own
and there’s no freedom in that for me
I am more comfortable allowing my mind to be empowered
By controlling my body
Still—
Somehow we’ve both been set free

I am a free woman
Free to watch by the sidelines as other girls discover love
While I discover parts of myself that I sometimes wish would return
To the depths from whence they came

So does that make me bait for this free man who is bound
To his own desire and inability to cherish that which is truly good?
Or am I also bound
To an image I did not create but am powerless to forsake
Unless I also reject parts of myself?

Is that why I sometimes cry at night?
Knowing that the future I’ve created for myself will never come to fruition in his eyes?
Knowing that in the end I will be expected to submit to his whim
Which only means to also be enslaved by his body?
Knowing that it will always be about
That Thang