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Go Back   HBCUCONNECT FORUMS > Entertainment > Lyricist Lounge

Lyricist Lounge This Forum is for all the Poets, Rappers, Songwriters, or anybody that thinks they can rhyme to come and post, read and reply.........


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  #1  
Old 05-13-2004
P o e t i q R e i g n P o e t i q R e i g n is offline
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Default Untitled ("One deep incision...")

this is, by far, one of my most favorite poems i've ever written....i don't know why, it just is...

most of my poems, i don't like goin back 2 read too often...but i love reading this one...i don't know what it is...but anyway....it was written March 17, 2002...at 4:34 a.m....


One deep incision
Distorted vision
A broken heart
Malfunctioning intuition.
Shattered morals
Scattered values
Active depression
Frequent blues.
Choosy moments,
Fickle feelings
Interests, hurting
Lust is killing.
Incriminating thoughts
Sinful desires
Burning within
Dangerous fires.
All of her principles die
Temptations rise
Blood pressure, sky-high,
And she knows why.
Poisonous candy, the objection of her eyes...
Will be the very birth...of her heart's demise.
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Old 05-13-2004
Riley Riley is offline
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Default

When i read it i for the feel of a female not wanting to lose her Virginity (or somethin' to that extent) but feeling pressured to do so...


and on a sidenote...how do u write at 4:30 in the morning
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Old 05-13-2004
Wisdom_Tree Wisdom_Tree is offline
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Default

It did feel like something unwanted but...kind of wanted at the same time. I dont know, Ive never been good with emotions.
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Old 05-13-2004
In Rod We Trust In Rod We Trust is offline
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Default very profound

i too feel that this girl is this piece is tomented by wanting to bc the feeling is right and not wnating to bc she knows that it's wrong , she not prepared. good stuff sista
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Old 05-14-2004
P o e t i q R e i g n P o e t i q R e i g n is offline
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Default Re: very profound

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley Freeman
When i read it i for the feel of a female not wanting to lose her Virginity (or somethin' to that extent) but feeling pressured to do so...


and on a sidenote...how do u write at 4:30 in the morning
lol...i don't know, good question...i guess it's just that my mind stays goin' 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. y'know...so regardless as 2 whether it's 4 in the morning...or 4 in the middle of the day...tha brainwavez r still dancin around ridiculously...

& a lot of times, the middle of the night gives me more time and space to think...it's peaceful...& quiet...& a lot of times, i just start reflectin'...on everything....so i guess with this, i just let my pen take over...in an attempt to mirror my thoughts....& thas what ended up comin' out...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tanochi Tres
It did feel like something unwanted but...kind of wanted at the same time. I dont know, Ive never been good with emotions.
looks like ya'll all pretty much got the same impression from the poem...

truthfully...i can't really put to words exactly the meaning of the poem...like i said before, it was just thoughts on paper...with the help of a little rhymin'...


Quote:
Originally Posted by starlit
i too feel that this girl is this piece is tomented by wanting to bc the feeling is right and not wnating to bc she knows that it's wrong , she not prepared. good stuff sista
thank you, chica ...

and thank you, everyone, period...4 reading...& responding....it is much appreciated...
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